Friday, March 26, 2010

The Second Call

Thursday was our match call, approximately 2 weeks after our initial "match" notification. Here's the difference:

-The initial match call, or notification call, comes after the birthmother has viewed your profile and said "that's the one!" The counselor then calls the couple, tells them about the match, and runs down a long list of medical histories, likes, dislikes, desires, adoption plans, hospital plans, finances, etc. It's then time to agree to the match or say no. In our case, the match seemed like just the right fit, so we agreed.

After this call is made, there are a series of events that takes place. First, you are given attorney information and asked to call. Then, you deal with some financial obligations. Then, you have the official "match call."

-The official "match call" is when the adoption counselor, the adoptive couple, and the birthmother/father conference call. This usually takes place very soon after the initial match. But, in our situation, circumstances led to the call taking place later than sooner. This was no problem whatsoever, except that it is EXTREMELY nervewracking.

So, for the last two weeks, we've been running scenarios through our minds over and over again. What will she sound like? Is she really for the adoption? Is she being pressured into this? Will she like us once she hears us? Is my voice too nasal? Maybe I'll buy some nose spray... Should I say I'm nervous? Should I say "thank you?" Should we take turns talking? What if she asks a question that takes us by surprise? Etc. Etc. Etc. This was never ending... By the end of this two weeks, I was so completely shaken by the idea of this one simple phone call that I DID use nose spray right before the conversation. And, I could breathe lovely... though I don't think it really changed the tone of my voice. :)

I will say though, once I heard our birthmother, A's, voice, I knew it was alright. She's wonderful! She has the tiniest, cutest little voice. The thing that surprised me was how guided the phone call was. The counselor actually took the lead and asked a bunch of questions to help prevent awkward silences or weird moments. I was so thankful for this. It really helped me to relax and be myself. We simply answered the questions we were asked and laughed and really had a good time. A even asked us if we needed any baby clothes, blankets, etc. I couldn't believe how thoughtful and unselfish of a thing to say. We were floored and told her we'd be honored to accept anything she wanted the baby to have. In the end, we're right on track. Everything is proceeding smoothly for now. We exchanged numbers, and we expect her to call sometime this weekend.

Our next step is to send the retainer to the lawyer, and get a copy of our homestudy sent to him. Then, we'll see if A wants to meet us in May. If she does, we'll start planning that trip.

OH! I almost forgot! She sent us ultrasound pictures too! The counselor informed us that most adoptive couples don't get them, so we're extra lucky. We're so thankful to have such a thoughtful firstmom. She's wonderful!

The picture's not the greatest, but if you look closely you can see her little fist on her chin, the shadowy lips, nose, and eyes, and of course, the shape of her beautiful head. Is it too soon to say I'm in love? Because, I think I am.


Jacksmom said...

Awww, she sounds like she has really thought about this and I am glad your first call went well with her. Did she seem sad at all? I'm excited for you!

Stephanie said...

She didn't sound sad at all. She seems very confident in her decision. I'm so thankful for that.

Jennifer said...

Hi, Stephanie,

Very wonderful news!!! Hope that the rest of your journey continues smoothly and happily. Will look forward to more updates.

Congratulations and ENJOY every minute.

Best and peace.

Chris said...

Guys, that's great news and I'm thrilled for you! Thanks also for giving us a sense of what's to come as we wait for our own match.

Kelly said...

I am always interested in how different agencies, attorneys, counselors handle the process...

Congrats on your official match!! Aliya's birthmom sent a ton of clothes with her and a bouncy seat. I tucked back several little outfits for her so someday she can see just how much her bio mom loved her!

Kelly said...

My parents live about 3 miles from Grand Rapids, we go to the Sweet Corn Fest. every year!!!