One Month

Dear Meerkat,

Wow. You're here. Not only are you here, but you've been here for one whole month. This month has been amazing, and amazingly fast. You have already grown so much. I can see it in your smooth, chubby cheeks. I can see it in your long, slender legs. I can hear it in your staticky screams. I can see it in your wide blue eyes. I want to hang onto your "newbornness" a bit more, but you aren't having any of that. You've already outgrown some of my favorite little outfits. And just yesterday, you wore your last newborn diaper -- already into size 1.

Today we celebrated your one month birthday very meekly. We sat around and watched TV. Daddy and I took turns holding you and talking to you. We've been singing you the silly songs your Grandma S. was singing this past weekend when she came to visit you. Today I went to Grandma K's and picked up one of my old stuffed animals that I thought you might like. It's a big mouse I got for Christmas just after a trip to Scotland (hence the tartan). She's big enough for me to measure your growth month after month. So, tonight after cleaning you up, we took your first pictures with 1996 the Scottish Mouse. (Something you'll learn about Mommy is that her sense of humor is different from most, and she got a real kick out of naming that mouse after the year sewn onto her right foot).

Before your picture though, I made the little circle you're wearing in it. I've seen stickers that people can purchase, but mommy is frugal and decided to make her own. I taped it to your onesie myself and then put it in your babybook. I'll keep all twelve for you to look at when you're older! Then, I discovered something new about you. You're a shower baby!!!! Remember this:

Well, someone suggested we try showering you, since you so furiously hate bathtime. So today, mommy took you into the shower with her and what do you know... not a peep. You lay in mommy's arms and let her lather your hair and wash you clean. You loved it. The cold air afterward was not your favorite, but daddy dried you quickly, and then you were a happy girl.

In this month, I've not only learned so much about you, but I've also learned so much about myself. I've learned that it is possible for me to get through a week with as little as four-five hours of sleep every night. I've learned that I am very easily offended by people who play down/put down the beauty of adoption (this is a post for another time, little girl, but trust that mommy will always answer your questions and be the best mommy I can be to you). I have learned that I have the capacity to love something so tiny as your pinky toe with the ferocity of ten thousand tigers. I have learned that I LOVE being a mommy. I love being YOUR mommy. Just like your daddy, you've filled my life with more joy than I can explain in words.

I love you.