just thinking...

I've been very sick the last couple days. Nick has been coddling me through the whole horrible thing. It helps me to see what a great father he will be.

It seems to me that lately, nothing can happen that I don't immediately relate to adoption. I get sick; I think about what a great father Nick will be, and how nice it will be to baby our children when they feel bad. The car overheats; I think about how we should get a new one so we can get around easier as a family once the baby comes. My students confront me angrily; I practice discipline techniques learned in parenting class.

I suppose it's the same thing a pregnant mother would do with all that waiting time. So, I think I'm mentally pregnant -- heart pregnant. This is my time to contemplate and prepare.

Even though I'm sick, even though I'm busy, even though there are hundreds of steps to be completed before we even begin actually "waiting" for our child, I'm happy.

Today is a nice day.